put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
