And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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