I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
