would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
