I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
