i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
