well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
