you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
