meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
