It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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