I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
