Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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