thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
