this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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