you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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