but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
