a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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