so that wasnt chicken after all
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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