does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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