we're blogging at a bar
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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