Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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