Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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