how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
