North Korea, Best Korea!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
