By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
