You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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