Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
