I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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