Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
