Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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