Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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