Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
