Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize