Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
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It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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