So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
