why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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