Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
