I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
