Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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