I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
