He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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