never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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