It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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