I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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