i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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