so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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