It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
