what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
