Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
