i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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