she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize