Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
