I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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