Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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