I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
