home. puking in laundry basket.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
