It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
