Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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