These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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