K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize