I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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