if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
